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Thread: Adult Nasty Jokes

  1. #16
    THE ONE AND ONLY Exoticustoms's Avatar
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    hahahaha:)
    http://groups.msn.com/ExoticCustoms

    this link is for my truck club, feel free to join the site is still being built but most of it is up and running.

    http://www.exoticustoms.8m.com

    muhahahahahaha(evil laugh):D
    check this link out:)

    http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/sierranaked.jpg/

  2. #17
    Blazin Daddy blazeboy206's Avatar
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    Thats some funny stuff although i didnt appreciate the ones that ti28 did being that im black and all ( having black friends doesnt make it ok buddy)
    Do you really wanna go?

  3. #18
    Blazin Daddy blazeboy206's Avatar
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    whose moderating this shit
    Do you really wanna go?

  4. #19
    LQ4 m8w6r77's Avatar
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    thats is funny some. i got some.

    Q.what is the difference between a bitch and slut?
    A. a slut gives it to everybody. a bitch only gives it to one person

    Q how does a west va mother know when her daugther is on the rag?
    A. when sons dick starts tasting funny

  5. #20
    underachiever i hate imports's Avatar
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    a guy walked into a bar he had been in the night before and says to the bar tender, "man i was so drunk i did the worst thing ever after i got home last night." the bartender asks what it was and the guy replies "i blew chunks." the bartender says "that's not the worst thing i've heard of, i've heard worse." the guy replies, "no, you don't understand, chunks is my dog. i BLEW chunks!!!"
    Originally posted by Slamd_sdime
    um i cant post any threads i dont know what to do.
    92 Lumina Z34 16.25 @ 84.33 mph 15.70 without overdrive
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    90 Taurus sw 16.439 @ 82.78 mph on the brakes (just keeps wanting to go faster)
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  6. #21
    Airborne Ranger spc_ops_blz's Avatar
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    :rofl: keep them coming.
    "Let every nation know, whether it wishes us well or ill, that we shall pay any price, bear any burden, meet any hardship, support any friend, oppose any foe, to assure the survival and success of liberty."
    - John F. Kennedy

  7. #22
    S10Less bigbadrat's Avatar
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    Encounter in a Texas Bar

    A Texan was having a drink at a bar with an old friend when he noticed an attractive and chesty young lady seated at the bar eating a hamburger.

    As he held eye contact with her, she swallowed a bite and it must have gone down the wrong pipe for she began choking.

    She was turning blue and obviously in serious respiratory distress.

    The Texan said to his friend, 'That there gal is having a bad time!'

    The other agreed and said, 'Think we should go help?'

    'You bet,' and with that he ran over and said, 'Can you breathe????' She shook her head no. He said, 'Can you speak??' She again shook her head no. With that, he pulled up her skirt and licked her on the butt.

    So shocked was the young woman that she coughed up the obstruction and began to breathe, with great relief.

    Smiling to his friend, the Texan said, 'Funny how that Hind Lick maneuver always works'
    Originally posted by Tony SS 350
    back to being the dick head you all have come to know and love.

    www.myspace.com/bigbadrat

  8. #23
    S10Less bigbadrat's Avatar
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    Originally posted by Tony SS 350
    back to being the dick head you all have come to know and love.

    www.myspace.com/bigbadrat

  9. #24
    Registered User 16years&blazin's Avatar
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    haha i gotta try that "hind lick" sometime lol
    Yahoo! Messenger = wintermc
    AOL Messenger = wintermc2

  10. #25
    S10Less bigbadrat's Avatar
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    i got more.i will post them as i go
    Originally posted by Tony SS 350
    back to being the dick head you all have come to know and love.

    www.myspace.com/bigbadrat

  11. #26
    Freelance Gynecoligst V8S10BLAZER350's Avatar
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    Q: Why don’t they teach driver’s ed and sex ed on the same day in Iraq?

    A: They don’t want to wear out the camel.
    FUELINJECTION IS NICE BUT I'D RATHER BE BLOWN
    DONT BLAME ME I DIDNT MAKE YOU A GIRL

  12. #27
    Freelance Gynecoligst V8S10BLAZER350's Avatar
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    A man enters the hospital for a circumcision. When he comes to after the procedure, he’s perturbed to see several doctors standing around his bed.
    “Son, there’s been a bit of a mix-up,” admits the surgeon. “I’m afraid there was an accident, and we were forced to perform a sex-change operation. You now have a vagina instead of a penis.”

    “What!” gasps the patient. “You mean I’ll never experience another erection?”

    “Oh, you might,” the surgeon reassures him. “Just not yours.”
    FUELINJECTION IS NICE BUT I'D RATHER BE BLOWN
    DONT BLAME ME I DIDNT MAKE YOU A GIRL

  13. #28
    I use to run this shit- TUCKINRIMINS10's Avatar
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    lol those are funny as hell.
    Don't Buy anything from uglyjed.. What a -fuckbag- he is.

  14. #29
    Slow Ride
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    Not for children but all about chili

    Notes From An Inexperienced Chili Taster Named Frank who was visiting Texas from the East Coast...

    "Recently I was honored to be selected as a celebrity in Texas, that is, to be a judge at a chili cook-off at the State Fair. As it was, I happened to be standing there at the judge's table asking directions to the beer wagon when the original "Judge #3"called in sick at the last moment. I was assured by the other two judges(Native Texans, by the way) that the chili wouldn't be all that spicy, and besides they told me I could have all the free beer I wanted during the
    tasting, so naturally I accepted."

    Here are the scorecards / judge's notes from the event:

    Chili #1 : Mike's Maniac Mobster Monster Chili

    JUDGE ONE: A little too heavy on tomato. Amusing kick.

    JUDGE TWO: Nice, smooth tomato flavor. Very mild.

    FRANK: Holy shit, what the hell is this stuff? You could remove dried paint from your driveway with it. Took me two beers to put the flames out. Hope that's the worst one. These Texans are crazy.


    Chili #2: Arthur's Afterburner Chili

    JUDGE ONE: Smoky, with a hint of pork. Slight Jalapeno tang.

    JUDGE TWO: Exciting BBQ flavor, needs more peppers to be taken seriously.

    FRANK: Keep this out of reach of children! I'm not sure what I am supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave off two people who wanted to give me the Heimlich maneuver. They had to walkie-talkie in 3 extra beers when they saw the look on my face.

    Chili #3: Fred's Famous Burn Down the Barn Chili

    JUDGE ONE: Excellent firehouse chili! Great kick. Needs more beans.

    JUDGE TWO: A beanless chili, a bit salty, good use of red peppers.

    FRANK: Call the EPA, I've located a uranium spill. My nose feels like I have been snorting Drano. Everyone knows the routine by now; barmaid pounded me on the back. My backbone is now in the front part of my chest. Also getting shit-faced.

    Chili #4: Bubba's Black Magic

    JUDGE ONE: Black bean chili with almost no spice. Disappointing.

    JUDGE TWO: Hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for fish or other mild foods, not much of a chili.

    FRANK: I felt something scraping across my tongue, but was unable to taste it. Sally, the bar maid, was standing behind me with fresh refills. That 300lb. bitch is starting to look HOT. What is this nuclear-waste I'm eating?

    Chili #5: Linda's Legal Lip Remover

    JUDGE ONE: Meaty, strong chili. Cayenne peppers freshly ground, adding considerable kick. Very impressive.

    JUDGE TWO: Good use of shredded beef; could use more tomato. Must admit the cayenne peppers make a strong statement.

    FRANK: My ears are ringing, and I can no longer focus my eyes. I farted and four people behind me needed paramedics. The contestant seemed offended when I told her that her chili had given me brain damage. Sally saved my tongue from bleeding by pouring beer directly on it from a pitcher. It really pisses me off that the other judges asked me to stop screaming. Fuck those rednecks!

    Chili #6: Vera's Very Vegetarian Variety

    JUDGE ONE: Thin yet bold vegetarian variety chili. Good balance of spice and peppers.

    JUDGE TWO: The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions, and garlic. Superb.

    FRANK: My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with gaseous, sulfuric flames. No one seems inclined to stand behind me except that slut Sally. I really need to wipe my ass with a snow cone!

    Chili #7: Susan's Screaming Sensation Chili

    JUDGE ONE: A mediocre chili with too much reliance on canned peppers.

    JUDGE TWO: Ho Hum, tastes as if the chef literally threw in a can of chili peppers at the last moment. I should note that I am worried about Judge Number 3. He appears to be in a bit of distress as he is cursing uncontrollably.

    FRANK: You could put a fucking grenade in my mouth, pull the fucking pin, and I wouldn't feel a damn thing. I've lost the sight in one eye, and the world sounds like it is made of rushing water. My shirt is covered with chili which slid uncontrollably out of my goddamned mouth. My pants are full of lava-like shit to match my fuckin' shirt. At least during the autopsy they'll know what killed me. I've decided to stop breathing, it's too painful. Fuck it, I'm not getting any oxygen anyway. If I need air, I'll just suck it in through the 4 inch hole in my fucking stomach.

    Chili #8: Helen's Mount Saint Chili

    JUDGE ONE: A perfect ending, this is a nice blendchili, safe for all, not too bold but spicy enough to declare its existence.

    JUDGE TWO: This final entry is a good, balanced chili, neither mild nor hot. Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Judge Number 3 passed out, fell and pulled the chili pot on top of himself. Not sure if he's going to make it. Poor Yank.

    FRANK: Uuggh.... fuck....

  15. #30
    Slow Ride
    Guest
    THE TOP TEN WAYS TO TELL SOMEONE THEIR ZIPPER IS
    UNZIPPED (From Dave Letterman)

    10) The cucumber has left the salad.

    9) Quasimodo needs to go back in the tower and tend to his bells.

    8) You need to bring your tray table to the upright and locked position.

    7) Paging Mr. Johnson...Paging Mr. Johnson...

    6) Elvis Junior has LEFT the building!

    5) The Buick is not all the way in the garage.

    4) Our next guest is someone who needs no introduction...

    3) You've got a security breach at Los Pantalones.

    2) Men maybe From Mars,...but I can see something that rhymes with Venus.

    1) You've got your fly set for "Monica" instead of "Hillary."

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